Every time this incident happens, many of us wonder what we can do to support our African-American friends beyond the sad online posting – and in a real and meaningful way.
Being an ally – someone who is not a member of a particular marginal group but seeks to help end the oppression of those in the marginal group – is a constant process. Alliance can mean different things to different people, and it can be difficult to know where to start.
This is not an exhaustive list, but here are some ways that you can support a marginalized community.
To reach
Offer support and comfort.
Check your friends who don’t look like you when a tragedy or a high profile incident occurs. Point out that you are there for them in whatever way they need.
Educate yourself and others
Do your research.
Do what you can to educate yourself before asking others to explain things to you. There are many resources available to you online. Google is your friend.
Ask questions when needed.
We all learn, and it’s okay to ask.
But be careful who you ask for, said
writer Courtney Ariel. Don’t rely too much on people of color or other marginalized groups to be your “expert”.
It’s best if the person you are asking is someone who already has a strong relationship with you. And be prepared to accept that some people might not want to discuss these things with you.
Brush up on history.
Ask, “How can something like this happen?” when other police meetings turn to death can be considered deaf for people who have long been dealing with a rooted system of oppression
Ariel writes. Make sure you do the speed before weighing.
Affect people in your own group.
Talk to people in your own life, especially those who have the same identity as you, writes Jamie Utt
Everyday Feminism. Teach your friends and family about how the bullying system affects marginalized groups. Make them responsible for their words and actions, and the role they might play in the system.
Teach your children.
It’s never too early. Talk to your children explicitly about racism and other forms of discrimination. Don’t teach them to be “color blind,” says writer Jennifer Harvey. Let them know that it is important to pay attention to differences, and teach them to stand up for others.
Acknowledge your mistakes.
Allyship is a process. Along the way, you must be doing or saying the wrong thing now and then. Don’t be defensive. Responsible for mistakes. And better move forward.
Listen
Recognize your privileges.
An important part of being an ally is recognizing the benefits and strengths you have in society because of your identity since birth, said
organizational change consultant Frances Kendall. Be aware of yourself and want to fight others who share your privileges.
Attention.
Racism and other forms of oppression are everywhere, even if you don’t experience them yourself. Train yourself to pay attention to them on a personal and institutional level, said
writer and activist Paul Kivel. Pay attention to what is said (and what is not) and who is (and who is not). Recognize how prejudice, discrimination and oppression are denied, minimized or justified.
Know when to talk less.
This is not about you. You don’t need to comment on every situation with your own perspective, or go out of your way to prove how aware or educated you are,
Ariel said. Raise others without speaking to them. Let others have a microphone for change.
Understanding other people’s experiences.
Instead of offering your own thoughts, listen to marginalized people when they tell you about their experiences, frustrations, and emotions. Sit with that for a minute.
Stand up
Build a network.
You cannot do this job alone. Find other allies who can work with you, and hold each other accountable. Partner with an organization that does the same work as you. Support people of color who are leaders.
Use your privileges to help others.
That can be scary, but take risks,
Kivel writes. Call injustice or discrimination when you see it. Intervene when you see examples of racism or other situations that appear unsafe.
Use
5 D of observer intervention. That includes reducing the situation, calling others to ask for help, examining the people involved, talking and documenting what happened.
Know your rights when recording.
You are
allowed by the Constitution to film the police on duty, as long as you do not interfere with their activities. Keep a safe distance. Capture signs or landmarks that help identify locations.
Convey your concerns to those in power.
Find out who your local legislators and politicians are (
go here to find a complete list of your elected officials), and know how
contact them. Is a
good Twitter thread from former Congress staff about how to actually make politicians listen.
Stand in solidarity.
Line up with people from groups who are marginalized in protests and demonstrations.
Donate your time and money.
This can take many forms,
said Ariel. Offer to help people who can take advantage of your expertise. Help the family pay their bills. Identify the organization whose work is aligned with your goals, and give what you can.
Select.
Make sure you are registered. And do it in every election, not just the big one.
AJ Willingham from CNN contributed to this report.
