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Domestic Violence: Why Victims Don’t Leave

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There are countless stories about battered women who stick with their abusive boyfriends or husbands to the bitter end, making people wonder why they don’t just leave. Multiple studies have shown that the answer to this question is not that simple. There’s a variety of reasons victims of domestic violence don’t separate from their abusive partners, from total financial dependence on their abusers to fear for their and their children’s lives.

What Is Domestic Violence?

One of the reasons women stay with their batterers is that they are not even aware they are being abused. Domestic violence, or domestic abuse, is any type of violence aimed at an intimate partner to gain and maintain power and control over that partner and alter the relationship dynamics.

Domestic violence has many forms, including physical, financial, sexual, emotional, and psychological. While in some relationships, the abuse is quite blatant, like someone beating his wife or withdrawing funds from their dependent partner to maintain control, in other relationships, the abuse is not that evident.

The abuse might include psychological manipulation and intimidation, including keeping the other person in a permanent state of fear or self-doubt through verbal violence and gaslighting. The covert abuse is often carried out by people with deeply flawed personalities known as malignant narcissists, which can inflict the most damage on a relationship and another person’s self-worth and mental health.

Why Victims Don’t Leave

There are several reasons victims of domestic violence choose to stay, including:

  1. Fear. Severely abused women are afraid that if they leave, their partner might turn more violent or their situation might get worse. And oftentimes, they are right. More than 70% of domestic abuse-related murders happened after the woman threatened to leave or left. That is because the ego of the abuser is so fragile that they feel the need to punish everyone who wronged them, including the victim whom the abuser perceives as the only one guilty for the breakup. And the ultimate punishment is often death.
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Other women are afraid not only for their lives but for their children’s wellbeing too. They might be afraid not to lose custody or for their partner not to turn violent on their children.

  1. They aren’t even aware of the abuse. Many women choose to stay in an abusive relationship because they are not even aware of the abuse. There are countless domestic violence victims who can confirm that they didn’t even know that they were being raped or that their partner’s behavior was textbook violent. This happens especially when the woman is isolated and doesn’t have anyone to talk to, which is very common for victims of domestic abuse as some of their partners intentionally isolate them from their loved ones and community.
  2. Massive psychological trauma. Some women are so abused mentally and emotionally day in and day out that they develop damaged self-worth and believe that they deserve everything that happens to them. They even find excuses for the aggressor. Many of them, at some point, even stop trying to get away from their abuser even if their life is in danger.

This learned helplessness and total dependence on the abusive partner has even a name: The Battered Woman Syndrome, which is a subcategory of PTSD. The only way out for these women is to get to a safe place and get in contact with a therapist with experience in PTSD or narcissistic abuse. Talking to friends and family about the abuse is just not enough for these women to heal, and an inexperienced therapist might do more harm than good.

  1. Financial issues. Some women don’t leave their abusive partners because they literally have no place to go. Many of these women are completely financially dependent on their partners, while their family and friends are not supportive. If these women want to escape, they’ll have to work long and hard on an escape plan behind their partners’ backs, like putting away funds or finding a source of income to become financially independent after separation.
  2. Lack of support. Many women decide to stay in an abusive relationship because there’s no one out there to help them. Some abused women didn’t find support, not even in law enforcement or courts who sided with their abusers. Others were rejected by family and friends and called crazy, especially when the abuser is charismatic and managed to turn everyone against the woman. Some women need someplace safe to flee with their children, but they often find that the community centers built for them cannot accommodate them.
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Conclusion

Some victims of domestic abuse stick around their abusive partners for decades before deciding to leave finally. Others are not that lucky as they are killed when they choose to separate from their partner. Being aware of domestic violence and its victims is not easy and many people ironically side with these women’s abusers, making them having second thoughts about their decisions.

Other women have no place to go, while just as many are not even aware, they are being abused. There are many reasons a battered woman sticks around, but the first lesson she needs to learn is that she doesn’t deserve the abuse. Only from that point on change can happen.

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Lucas Chazarreta becomes the Portuguese market leader Japan Tobacco International – Marketing Specialist

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Lucas Chazarreta becomes the Portuguese market leader Japan Tobacco International - Marketing Specialist

Lucas Chazarreta has become the new CEO of Japan Tobacco International (JTI) for the Portuguese market. The professional replaced Yannick Giraud as the head of a team of 46 professionals at the Japanese multinational corporation that produces the tobacco brands Winston and Camel.

Lucas Chazarreta, 42, born in Argentina, has been with JTI since 2004. He holds a business administration degree from the Pontifical Catholic University of Rio de Janeiro and a degree in marketing from Martin College in Australia, and attended the Swiss School of Rio de Janeiro in January.

Lucas Chanzarreta has over 15 years of experience at JTI, having come to Portugal from Mexico. Previously, he has served as General Manager of the JTI Americas Cluster (Argentina, Bolivia and Peru) and Director of Marketing and Trade Marketing for Brazil, Peru and Argentina.

“My mission is to drive sustainable growth in the organization’s profitability and market share, and to provide professional growth opportunities for my team members. JTI has a very successful track record in Portugal, being the fastest growing company in the sector for several consecutive years. This growth is based on a portfolio of world famous brands and a very well trained and professional team of employees,” Lucas Chazarret said in a statement.

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Portimonense beat Pacos de Ferreira to become Portuguese champion

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This Monday, Portimonense took their first win of the season at Portuguese Championship when visiting Pacos de Ferreira. The guests came out victorious, defeating the hosts with a score of 3:0.

Pacos de Ferreira takes on Estoril in the next round. The match will take place next Friday at 16:15 (Brazil time). With the defeat, the hosts continue without points and occupy the 15th position.

Portimonense finishes the second round of the Portuguese Championship in seventh position with three points. The team’s next match will be against Vitoria de Guimarães on Sunday at 16:30 at the Municipal Stadium of Portimão.

The first goal of the match was scored in the 31st minute. Iago Cariello shot on goal and fired into the right corner. Guests only increased their advantage in the final segment of the match, when in the 35th minute of the second half, Lukinha received at the entrance to the penalty area and hit hard.

The third and final goal of the game was scored four minutes later, in the 39th minute: Everton got a free kick in the penalty area and hit the net.

Check out the results of this Monday in the championship of Portugal:

nautical 1 x 2 Chavez
Aroca 1 x 0 Gil Vicente

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Is there an exam in Brazilian Portuguese?

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if you are studying Brazilian Portuguese more likely than European Portuguese, you might be wondering which exam you can work on. Most people are familiar with the Portuguese CAPLE system, which corresponds to the A1, A2, B1, B2, C1 and C2 format of the European CEFR (Common European Framework of Reference for Languages) standard.

Although there are many crossovers between European Portuguese and Brazilian Portuguese and they are essentially the same language, many people choose to focus on Brazilian Portuguese rather than European Portuguese. In most cases, if you’re planning to live in Portugal, you should probably focus on European Portuguese, as that’s what you’ll be in the most contact with. However, there are several reasons why you might decide that Brazilian Portuguese is the right choice for you.

The first and main reason if you are planning to move to Brazil is mainly for work or study. CELPE-Bras is the only language proficiency test recognized by the Brazilian Ministry of Education that may be required for a position or vacancy at a Brazilian university. Another reason could be that you don’t spend much time in Portugal and speak more Brazilians than Portuguese.

CELPE-Bras exam levels: Intermediate, Upper Intermediate, Advanced and Upper Advanced. They roughly correspond to B1, B2, C1 and C2. Once you have decided which level you want to test at (eg B2), the next step is to find a course that will take you to that level. Portuguese Pod101 e Portuguese semantics both offer content at this level, for example.

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It is recommended to sign up for the test in advance or at least set a date for the test. You should also read about what the test includes, which is a 20 minute oral component and a 3 hour written component based on the texts you read and the video and audio you listen to.

Some people are tempted by Brazilian Portuguese as it seems to be easier than European Portuguese, but that is not a good reason to learn it instead of Portuguese Portuguese. In addition, if you plan to apply for citizenship in Portugal – for example, if you qualify after five years of residence in Portugal – you will need to submit Portuguese level A2, which is actually a level below the easiest level you can get through in CELPE-Bras: Intermediate.

If you are interested in Brazilian Portuguese but want to learn Portuguese as a world language, there is a book dedicated to this: Meeting point: Portuguese as a world language. You can also find Brazilian and Portuguese teachers on websites like Italki which can help you practice your conversation and correct it when you confuse the two. However, in general, most courses focus on one or the other, so you need to figure out how to learn and support both.

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